Psychiatrists and psychologists concluded quite a few years ago that going through a divorce is the second most stressful life event. This is true even if both parties agree that a divorce is the right thing for them.
Unfortunately, parents can get so focused on the financial and emotional aspects of how the divorce process is affecting them that they don’t pay enough attention to what is happening with the children. It is easy for them to make mistakes during the divorce that continue even after the divorce is final.
Some Common Mistakes Parents Make During the Divorce
Parents do not make these mistakes intentionally. They may not even be aware they are doing these things, but here are some mistakes they need to avoid making.
- Talking badly to the children, or to a friend in front of the children about the other parent. This can influence the children into taking sides and may negatively affect their own relationship with the other parent.
- Sending messages to each other through the children. Even telling your children something that seems neutral, like “tell your [mom or dad] I will also be going to the school play” should be avoided. First, the child may forget to pass on the message; and second, it makes the child feel responsible for something that should not be the child’s responsibility.
- Being so angry and talking so badly about the other parent that the parents are unable to both be present at important events, like soccer games, school music programs, plays, or dances. Even graduations and weddings can become contentious for the children instead of monumental celebrations of life events.
- Not honestly answering the children’s questions. Children want to know who they will live with, will they stay in the same house, will they move and change schools and lose their friends. An answer of, “I don’t know yet” is much better than just giving an answer that may not be what actually happens.
Contact Our Family Law Attorneys for Assistance
Our family law attorneys at Springer & Lyle can answer your questions and give you guidance in dealing with your children during your divorce. We can help you whether you choose to divorce through traditional litigation or the collaborative process. The team involved in the collaborative process includes a divorce coach and child specialist to help you understand our children’s needs and avoid making damaging mistakes.
Contact us online or call Daniel Abasolo at 940-387-0404 to schedule a consultation.
